As a parent we somewhat martyrize ourselves.
Many times I’ve said “what happened was terrible and it still kills me inside- but I will take that any day rather than know my kids will”
I will do anything and everything in my power to stop them from being in the way of harm. It’s what parents did. It’s what all of our parents did before us as well. I think every decade or so the values change the “things we are trying to protect our babies From” change.
My perfect beautiful baby girl is almost 11.
I was 14 when what happened to me happened.
I am running out of time.
I look at her face and I see my own youth and innocence and I wonder why. I wonder how.
All these years later 20 years later it does not seem fair to me.
But I’m so glad. I’m so glad that I can tell my daughter. That instead of some news story she cannot relate to she understands that even these dark things happen to people like mommy.
How do I say it? Even my husband a very good man- really does not like to hear this story. It’s his wife. Part of the strength of his house. The woman he goes to for comfort, love and whatever else.
I posted “me too” on Facebook and for a moment I thought “oh gosh I should be embarrassed maybe I should not have posted that”
And I realized I shouldn’t be shamed. I shouldn’t be embarrassed. I’ve been far, far too long. The shame goes on others- or it should. Maybe they don’t live with the cloud of their actions over their heads like I do.
I’ve always quietly languished in this pain- opening up when I felt it was safe.
But at this point it’s of utmost importance that this opening up becomes not just when I feel comfortable. I need to find a way to be loud. To be honest. To try to heal others. To try to do everything in my power to make sure that I don’t raise a victim(though they may end up being so and I need to help them in that case too).
I need to raise my son and daughter both to know they don’t take a thing from another person that person doesn’t want to give. I need to raise them to defend themselves both physically and emotionally.
As you watch the number of people with the status of “me too” think about how you can fix it. What is your part?
I’m truly trying to figure out my own.
Looking at the News.. these abuses they do not discriminate.
Every strong sensational woman I see has her own story.
It’s time to change that story and have a real talk.
I’ll gladly take my pain- in thoughts I can stop that in anybody from hurting.
But let’s try. Let’s do what we can.
So that in 20 years. Our children aren’t on Facebook or it’s counterpart.
Posting “me too”